After reading the title alone, I know you all have not only a name – but a face that comes to mind (and possibly a spike in blood pressure). Nothing pushes us closer to insanity, then dealing with someone whose actions depict that very word. Whether it is someone at work, a teacher, a relative, or the neighbour from hell, I believe that the same coping mechanisms will apply to all. First and foremost, my advice is that you – at all costs – retrain from stooping to their level of communication and negativity. The simple solution would be to accept the situation, change the situation, or leave the situation. Sometimes our situation will be an outlier to this though, in that it is in our best interest to stay in the situation, but by no means can we change it, and certainly not accept it. In this particular instance – you have to accept without accepting them. By this I mean that we need to have some sort of mutual understanding. In a work situation they might have a particular function that is necessary to the success of the organisation but …this person may also be the queen/king of manipulation…and…. they may be overtly trying to squash you. The silver lining is that if this person is as terrible as you think – judgement day will come.
Now, back to maintaining our sanity.
I advise you to follow the 5 C’s.
- Civil – you have tried to be nice – and that bit you in the ass so just be civil. Don’t be aggressive, but certainly don’t go out of your way to accommodate them when they have repeatedly gone behind your back and screwed you over.
- Careful – Only tell this person absolutely what is imperative to the task at hand or the object of why you have any type of interaction with them.
- Calculated – When you come across outrageous insane evidence of this person displaying demonic behaviour – make a repertoire of their sins. But only escalate it in a calculated manner rather than constantly complaining or bringing up issues at inopportune times.
- Calm – Find inner peace. Do this through yoga, telling your stories to your grandma, or having a 20 minute mediation session as soon as she/he emits a rapid fire of fierce negativity. Your favourite song, a fond memory or visualisation of your happy place and a cup of green tea can do wonders.
- Comedy – In all it’s toxicity, take a step back and look at the situation. There is a high likelihood that you will find it fitting to be in a Sunday comic strip, such as Dilbert.